Today we talk about The Departed

Did you know that sometimes a rat is a metaphor for people who are not honest? I didn't either, but if you are really smart and able to pick up on subtleties you would have noticed that bit of brilliance that Mr Scorsese chose to end his breakout film, The Departed, with.

Also, did you know that subtitles are hard to read? Because Mr Scorsese figured that out, and said: "why not remake an awesome film, and only change one thing: the language ? Then I will become a successful director, which I never was before because I never won an Oscar but if I win one for this hypothetical film then I will have become a great director."

Scorsese then added: "Okay, so we will steal everything from this awesome Hong Kong film, except for the language, but I still feel like we need to tweak it a little. What else can we change? . . . I know! White people! Who wants to watch yellow people on the screen? We will set the film in Boston and make everyone white! And maybe make them Red Sox fans too. Also, we need to make sure they talk in a Boston accent. That makes it authentic. I will need that to win the Oscar. *sobs* when will the failure end? *composes self* Okay, so we have English and white people. Should we change anything else? . . . Well, I am one of the most skilled directors of my time a failure, so I guess I better not mess with anything else. Except. . . you know what is the one thing the movie that I am ripping off was missing? A way over the top ending that will have the audience laughing at the shear silliness of it all, which will fit right in line with the mood of the film, and then I will have a rat walk on screen, then roll credits.

"Oscar please."


(Lemuel Reilly yelled at me for not block quoting that long one, but I can't figure out how to work the html! Now he says he is going to lock me in the closet for a week. His persona may seem like a homosexual, but he is actually very strong, sort of like those gay people in the Olympics who do all the prancing on that mat.)